Monthly Archives: October 2013

LOVE BEYOND COMPREHENSION

25 Friday Oct 2013

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You know how you can be skipping along through life and one day realize you never fully understood something you thought you had figured out a long time ago?   That happened to me the other night.  I was praying, asking God to help me through a struggle I am experiencing.  As is my habit, my prayer consisted of expressing my trust that He will work it out for good while questioning what I needed to do to correct the situation and asking Him to forgive me for getting in His way.  My prayer brought on more frustration than peace. 

Psalm 46:10 – “Be still, and know that I am God”

Then God’s still, small voice came to me and I felt His presence. It was as if God was physically beside me, cradling me in His arms as He whispered into my ear “My child, you do not yet understand my love for you.”  It literally took my breath away.  I started to respond but immediately understood that this was a time to listen; to be still.  I lay there thinking about what I have experienced and what I have learned over the past four years, and what I know to be true about God.   He brought to my mind how I keep struggling to insure I live up to the love He has for me, even though I know in my mind He requires nothing from me.  I recalled how I constantly try not to disappoint Him and He reminded me that even when I do it doesn’t change His love for me one bit.

Psalm 139: 7-10:  “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.  If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, Even there Your hand shall lead me”

I am not good at relationships.  Too often in my family people handled conflicts with others by putting them out of their lives.  I’ve done the same thing over and over in my life.  Ending a relationship was easier than changing my behavior or an attitude, easier than admitting I’m wrong or putting forth extra effort to show love when I wasn’t feeling it.  We tend to manage our relationship with God the same way we handle our relationships with people and I realized that’s what I was doing.  I was constantly struggling to make sure I held up my end of the relationship but I had no idea how to do that.  I feared I would mess up or quit trying out of frustration.  God is literally a part of me, He dwells in me, and walking away from this relationship is not an option!    

Hosea 14:4 – “…I will love them freely.”

I knew God’s grace is free; it’s not possible to pay my debt so, in my mind, God came up with a plan to save us but that didn’t mean He necessarily had to love us (clear as mud, huh?).  Somehow I separated His grace from His love.  Love in this world is work and we are taught explicitly and implicitly that we must earn it.  It’s hard to change our thinking about that because that’s the only kind of love we have ever experienced.  But we have to get past that and truly accept that His love is different, it really is free.  God is not waiting for me to do certain things to “earn” it.

Funny, but my granddaughter just happened to be spending the night with me the night of my prayer and was asleep in the bed next to me (God’s timing is impeccable!).  As I looked at her I thought about how much I love her and how much my love for her surprises me sometimes – the depth of it, the tenderness of it; there is nothing she does that makes my love for her grow stronger each day, yet it does.  There is nothing she can do that would diminish my love for her; nothing she can do that would make me not want to be around her; I would do anything to protect her.  Even when she does things that I don’t like, my love for her isn’t diminished at all.  God showed me in that moment that while I can compare His love to what I feel for my granddaughter, His is greater.  It finally sunk in and I wept. 

Psalm 103:11 “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;”

 I walked an aisle and accepted Jesus’s gift of salvation when I was about 11 years old.  But I gave in to worldly pressures and lived my life apart from God for the next 10 or 11 years.  I returned to Him after my daughter was born but again yielded to the temptations of the world after about 6 years.  I lived the following 24 years much like Solomon, running after every desire I had:  money, men, material possessions, worldly “wisdom.”  Granted, I did not have near the resources Solomon did to satisfy his desires, but I acquired what I could with the little I had by any (legal!) means I could manage.  In 2009 the burden of my sinful life became too much to bear and I begged God to take over.  Over the past four years I’ve come to know Him.  As I looked back at the 39 years since I first accepted what Jesus did for me on that cross, I saw all that He had done for me even as I lived in total disobedience.  It was God who had taken care of me.  He had never allowed anything in my life that I couldn’t handle.  He had, in fact, kept every promise He makes to us in His Word.  The night of my prayer I saw how He has cared for me, how patient He has been.  I have done so many things that no doubt grieve Him mightily and in spite of it all, He took me back.  

Isaiah 41:13: “For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”

As I lay there that night I realized I am the prodigal Jesus talks about in His parable in the 15th chapter of Luke:

Luke 15:17-24 – “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.  I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’  So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.  “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.  Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate.  For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.”

It is nothing short of amazing that God welcomed me back with open arms.  He doesn’t hold anything back.  He doesn’t treat those of us who go astray any differently from those who have been obedient to Him. Now, get this:  each time one of His wayward children come back, there is great rejoicing in heaven.  He rejoiced when I came back! 

Luke 15:10 – “…I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

That night I finally gave control of my heart to God.  Knowing the truth about God’s love fills me with a desperate desire to please Him in everything I do.  It’s no longer a struggle of my will.  As I deal with the situation I prayed about that night, I have a new peace and love towards the people involved.  Since that night, I see others through God’s eyes – the ones that watched as I did things that broke His heart.  Through it all, He watched with unwavering love for me, knowing I would return.  I must pass His love on and I now have the power and the understanding to do it.  I can do no less. 

Jeremiah 31:3 – “The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying: “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.”

Worry about NOTHING?!

19 Saturday Oct 2013

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One of the greatest struggles I had in building my relationship with God over the last four years is overcoming worry.  When I accepted Christ’s sacrifice for me and decided to follow His direction for my life, I was overwhelmed with worry, fear, depression and anxiety.  I desperately needed the peace He promises.  But I struggled to find this rest as my family and I went through some tremendous trials.  During my Bible study one day I came across this verse:

Philippians 4:6 – “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God”

It was hard for me to fathom how God could expect me to live in this world and not worry about anything.  The only way I thought that could happen would be to stop caring about people.  That wasn’t going to happen and it certainly wasn’t consistent with the person God is and the kind of person He wants me to be.  Surely God understands if we worry about our loved ones, people who have not accepted His gift of salvation, world events that we have no control over.  But these words come from Paul, who suffered greatly.  He faced death numerous times, endured torture time and time again, had many friends who suffered and died, and was pursued endlessly by powerful people who opposed his message.  Yet Paul exhorts us through his words to the Philippians that we are to be anxious about NOTHING.  Paul didn’t provide us with a list of things we are allowed to worry about.  He says we are to be anxious about NOTHING.  Nothing.  Nada.  Zilch.  NO THING.  NOTHING. 

There is only one way to worry about nothing:  absolute trust in God.  When I am faced with a struggle, I come up with a solution that I want to see.  It’s generally a quick solution because the sooner the issue goes away, the sooner I can quit worrying.  I know how I want things to turn out and I go to God asking Him for those results.  Then I become anxious when I see even a slight possibility that things might turn out differently than I have planned or when nothing seems to be changing.  As I provide God with solutions, the absurdity of what I’m doing hits me and I have to switch gears.  I begin to focus on turning the situation over to God, but still I often worry whether or not I will be able to handle the outcome He might choose. 

Each time I’m faced with a new struggle, I face the challenge of totally trusting God.  I have to remember that He will work it out in a way that accounts for many things I cannot possibly consider.  He can account for every possible consequence for every individual and for eternity.  My limited view of life leaves me wanting answers that don’t include any kind of suffering or pain.  I don’t consider answers that will benefit someone I am harboring hard feelings for.  When I trust God’s answers, I can know He is able to take all of this into account and bring about good.  My view is too limited to even begin to accomplish this.

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

 I love reading the Old Testament.  I get really frustrated with the Israelites as I read of their constant lack of trust in God during their time in the wilderness.  They worried about what they would eat and drink and expressed their displeasure with Moses for taking them out of Egypt where they had plenty, conveniently forgetting how they had suffered there.  They were fearful of the approaching Egyptian army and they feared the inhabitants of the land God promised them.  I question how they could ever worry about anything after the miracles they had witnessed – the parting of the Red Sea, God leading them by fire at night and the cloud by day, water pouring out of rocks and manna falling from the sky.  I sometimes think that if God would perform one of these miracles today, it would be easier to trust Him.  But if it didn’t work for the Israelites, I have to understand it wouldn’t work for me, either!  As I read these stories, I also have to remember that I have the advantage of reading about these things centuries after they happened.  I am no different from the Israelites when I face the trials He allows in my life.  I have to trust what He is going to do and I have to keep in mind that it might not look like I want it to look.  That’s the tough part. 

There are several things about God that I keep in mind.  God is outside of time.  He is able to work in my life as if He is reading about it centuries later.  He is omniscient so He knows what the consequences will be of everything that He allows in my life.  He orchestrates all of it so it works for good for all those who love Him who are involved even in the smallest way, not just the people and things I am aware of. 

Even when the solution God provides is difficult, I can rest assured God is still taking care of me.  As the Israelites’ wandered in the wilderness for 40 years as punishment for their lack of trust, God provided everything they needed.  As long as I remind myself that what He is doing takes into consideration everyone who loves Him and that He is preparing all for eternity, I am able to free myself from the anxiety I experience when I cannot see or understand the reasons for the difficult things He allows into my life. 

God’s timing is vastly different from mine.  More often than not, God’s plans require a lot of patience.  My most earnest prayer is that my loved ones will accept Christ.  As I watch things in the world unravel, I am convinced that this world has just about tested God’s patience to the limit and He will soon bring it to a close.  This leaves me with a sense of urgency for those who haven’t accepted His gift of salvation. There are days when I plead with Him to let me see some progress and there have been times when He shows me how someone has become more open to Jesus or they ask a question that indicates they are thinking about something we have discussed.  But, again, He didn’t provide a list of exceptions that I’m allowed to worry about, not even others’ salvation, nor did He say He would relieve my worry through visible evidence.  He will relieve my worry through faith and trust in Him and I must be patient.

The Philippians verse also tells us that we are to be thankful.  Giving thanks allows us to focus on God’s goodness.  It reminds us that He has cared for us in the past and will continue to do so.  Thanking and praising God as we petition Him for help in getting through trials changes our attitude and should help us realize that He truly cares for us.

1 Peter 5:7 “Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

My husband has head knowledge of Jesus but is not a committed follower.  We were talking about money and I reminded him that it could all be taken away in the blink of an eye despite his methodical, careful management.  I told him that if God wants me to live in a box, I’ll live in a box.  He said “But I don’t want to live in a box.”  In a misguided attempt to help him understand something about God’s nature, I tried to assure him if that were God’s plan, it would happen no matter what we do and we can rest in knowing that God would take care of our needs while teaching and refining us.  It wasn’t a well-timed conversation – like trying to teach someone geometry before they’ve mastered basic math – but it reminded me how thankful I am that I can trust God’s plans for me, no matter what they look like.  I wish my husband could find this peace.  

Luke 12:22-25 – “Then He said to His disciples, “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; nor about the body, what you will put on. Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothing. Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap, which have neither storehouse nor barn; and God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds? And which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?”

Even my Christian friends often approach a struggle with their own plan in mind.  I try to find ways to remind them that God might have something different in mind for them.  Perhaps they will not be healed of a health issue, perhaps they will not get that job they desperately want, or maybe a family matter won’t be resolved in the way we believe would be best.  But they can still trust that no matter what happens God will use it for good.  God wants us to bring the desires of our hearts to Him and we are to be persistent and bold with our requests.  But we have to remember God is part of all answers, even when we don’t like them or understand them.  Too often we celebrate His presence when the answers look like we want them to look but chalk up His more difficult responses as unanswered prayer.    

Mark 14:32- 36: “ Then they came to a place which was named Gethsemane; and He said to His disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” And He took Peter, James, and John with Him, and He began to be troubled and deeply distressed. Then He said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch.”He went a little farther, and fell on the ground, and prayed that if it were possible, the hour might pass from Him.  And He said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will.”

Does this mean we will never have a minute of worry?  No, I don’t expect that.  After all, we still live in a broken world and we still care about other people.  Even Jesus, God in the flesh, experienced great anxiety on the night of His arrest.  On that night Jesus was deeply distressed and exceedingly sorrowful.  He turned to God in fervent prayer, asking God three times to take the cup from Him.  But Jesus yielded to God’s will.  Unlike us, Jesus knew what God’s plan would demand and how difficult it would be yet He still trusted in what God was doing, knowing what that plan meant for every person who ever lived. This should be our example during our struggles. 

I want to be as confident in God’s plans as Jesus was at Gethsemane; to live as if I can see through to eternity and rest assured that God’s plans are always the best for everyone involved.  I know I can approach God with my requests time and time again but when I convince myself that is the only acceptable answer, I invite worry and anxiety into my life.  I must always turn it over to God in the end and let Him work it out His way.  I must learn to lean on Him and trust that He will get me through those answers He provides that are painful or that I don’t understand.

The payoff is huge:  Philippians 4:7 – “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

MY SANTA CLAUS gOD

04 Friday Oct 2013

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Before I committed my life to Christ I believed in a god I refer to as the Santa Claus god.  I called Him that because I believed God exists solely to give us everything we need to insure our lives are comfortable.  I believed that the only thing God wants from us is to love Him and to love others.  My Santa Claus god is pervasive in our culture.  Prosperity preachers assure us God wants us to have everything our heart desires.  When things don’t work out like we expect them to, many conclude God is dead or “sitting this one out.”  False teachers have reduced God’s Truth to His loving, caring attributes, throwing out all references to His wrath and judgment.  We have decided that we will determine what’s right and wrong so we don’t have to control our desires and we twist Scripture to support those decisions, asserting that God needs to change to conform to our culture.  C.S.  Lewis refers to it as “God in the dock” in his essay of the same name:

“The ancient man approached God (or even the gods) as the accused person approaches his judge.  For the modern man the roles are reversed.  .… Man is on the Bench and God in the dock.”

Our world has decided we will define who God is.  We have decided that in many areas, He is just wrong.  We dismiss the idea of God’s judgment so sin becomes a non-issue.  Lewis writes in his essay that his greatest barrier in leading others to the Christian faith was “the almost total absence from the minds of my audience of any sense of sin.”  My own life attests to the price we pay when we determine what sin is instead of understanding God’s view of it.  I chose to believe that God loved me unconditionally so as long as I loved Him, I could do whatever I wanted to do.  Obedience was not something I felt I owed Him.  On those rare occasions when I read the Bible, I either ignored the parts I didn’t like, explained them away, dismissed them as old-fashioned, or interpreted them in a way that fit my life choices.

Adrian Rogers once said laws without punishment are nothing more than advice; without judgment, God’s laws become advice but God is not in the business of simply giving advice.  The world has decided His laws are outdated and those who choose to follow them are old-fashioned, narrow-minded and naïve.  I was happy to accept that line of thought because it meant I didn’t have to change anything I was doing.  As long as I defined God in my narrow way (loving and forgiving), there was no need for me to let go of any of the bad habits and behaviors that controlled my life.  We all know how hard it is to fight natural desires and urges.  My Santa Claus god allowed me to give in to them and the culture’s approval provided further validation.  As a result my unchecked desires for material possessions, worldly success, and intimacy determined how I was going to behave.

I was never afraid of the consequences of my behavior because I believed a loving God would rescue me from them.  Because I ignored the fact that God does run out of patience with us, that He does anger (albeit slowly) and will judge us, there was nothing in my belief system that made me accountable to Him. I never really tied the struggles I was having to my behavior; I blamed something or someone else.

I Kings 19:11, 12: “…but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.”

On December 10, 2009, when I committed my life to God, it was initially a cry out to my Santa Claus god.  My “Christmas list” included my need for Him to fix everything that was wrong in my life, to show me how to cope with life, and to give me peace.  I threw in joy but didn’t see how that would be possible, given my history with depression.  But as I kneeled by the side of my bed, crying out to Him, I heard that still, small voice we are told Elijah heard.  It was real enough for this stubborn, hard-headed, skeptical woman to take note.  As I think back on it, it wasn’t demanding, it wasn’t threatening.  It was a gentle urging, a settled thought that assured me I could trust God, no matter what I would discover about Him in the months to follow.  I knew I had to decide to believe everything I was about to learn, whether I liked it or not and I made a commitment to that.   My Santa Claus god disappeared from my life on that day.

Isaiah 30:18 “Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.”

As I learned about the complete character of God, I always kept at the front of my mind the fact that I know God to be loving, good, fair and just.  Even when I don’t understand why He does certain things, I must always go back to this truth about Him and view everything through that lens.  Serving God based only on the fact that He loves me didn’t provide me with anything to hold on to when things went wrong or when something happened that seemed to contradict the fact that He is good.  I was left questioning Him and I was afraid of Him.

Matthew 7:13-14 “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.”

I’m very careful about what I tell unbelievers and new Christians.  The first thing I want them to know is how much God loves them and that He wants the best for them.  I want them to know that He offers them forgiveness that requires they do nothing but believe in His Son.  I went to God because I needed His love and forgiveness.  But I couldn’t stay at that point.  I had to grow in my understanding of God in order for my faith to grow.   As I studied Jesus’ life, I realized that following Him isn’t always going to be easy.  I had to accept that and I can’t lead a new Christian to Christ with a lie that His path results in a cushy, comfortable life, that all it requires is to love God and others.  The first time they experience struggles and disappointments, they will want to know where God went.  New believers must know that Jesus died on the cross to save us from judgment of our sin.  Introducing my Santa Claus god just won’t cut it!

Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

I see my Santa Claus god in the attitude our country has about God.  We believe somehow America is a privileged country and we expect everything to be done to insure our affluent, excessive lifestyle is left intact.  We call on God when disasters strike but insist on keeping Him at bay when it comes to our principles and values, clinging to the false conclusion that He will protect us no matter what.  He does anger, He does judge and He will whether we choose to believe it or not. We don’t understand the history of God’s judgment on nations and how He has used pagan, evil nations to judge His people.  We don’t want to accept that God might be capable of doing such things.  It is helpful to read the comments written by J.W. McGarvey and Philip Y. Pendleton in their book The Fourfold Gospel, “we must be cautious how we derive arguments of our own from the analogy between God’s attributes and the corresponding characteristics of man.  …The fallacy in the argument consists in assuming that the feeling in question must work the same results in every particular in God that it does in man.”

Isaiah 60:12 “For the nation and kingdom that will not serve you shall perish; those nations shall be utterly laid waste.”

As Christians, we know that the world is going to come to an end because man continues to turn from God.  It surprises me when Christians fret over world events.  Allistair Begg said it best (loose translation): “It’s not about politics or nations, it’s about His kingdom.”   We have to come to terms with the fact that America no longer follows God’s direction and there’s a price to be paid for that.  As believers, we know how this will end and we know we will overcome it all.  We have hope, not in our country, but in our God.

2 Chronicles 7:14 “If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”

I love reading the Old Testament and the stories that come to my mind as I watch world events are those about Rome, Babylonia, Greece, Assyria and Egypt.  These governments controlled the world at the height of their power and nobody thought they could ever fall.  But they did.  God’s purposes aren’t going to be fulfilled by any government or nation.  Even the nation He set apart to demonstrate His love to the world failed Him! His plans will survive the downfall of any nation, including America.

In our personal lives and as a nation, we must focus on spreading the Gospel to avoid God’s wrath.  We must also understand that, as the world draws to a close, there are going to be more things that don’t look like we want them to look.  We can’t cling to a “Santa Claus” god.  That belief system will only leave us angry at God because we don’t fully understand Him.  He has warned us about how He deals with rejection and provided us with plenty of history to know that He judges and why He must do so.  We have no need to question His ways if we know His entire character.  My Santa Claus god provided me with no basis for any hope or understanding.  I had to dig deeper to find His full character:

“No life can be founded upon Christ’s teaching unless it be founded also upon faith and trust in His personality.  For this we must dig deep, for as St. Gregory says, “God is not to be found on the surface.”  J.W. McGarvey and Philip Y. Pendleton “The Fourfold Gospel”

Simply loving God and believing that was all He required of me was not only self-serving but, more importantly, it totally negated my need for Jesus.  As long as I didn’t believe in God’s judgment, I had no debt to pay and Jesus’ death on the cross was pointless.  The fact that God’s character includes wrath and judgment doesn’t mean He loves me less – it allows me to see how great His love is.  He’s provided His word to inform and guide me and knowing that He does judge allows me to see His patience, grace and mercy.

Colossians 2:14 “By canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross”