Monthly Archives: November 2013

THE TRUE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT

30 Saturday Nov 2013

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In December, 2009, I yielded my life to Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, the third person of the Trinity, began dwelling within me.  It is a wondrous thing to think about. In his book “The Prayer Life” Andrew Murray tells us exactly who the Holy Spirit is and how we must think about Him:

 “What was the peculiar privilege of the disciples, who were always in fellowship with him?  It was uninterrupted enjoyment of the presence of the Lord Jesus.  It was because of this they were so sorrowful at the thought of His death.  They would be deprived of that presence.  He would be no longer with them.  How, under these circumstances, did the Lord Jesus comfort them?  He promised that the Holy Spirit from heaven should so work in them a sense of the fullness of His life and of His personal presence that He would be even more intimately near and have more unbroken fellowship with them than ever they experienced while He was upon earth.”

 Initially the Holy Spirit’s presence in my life brought about some dramatic changes.  I couldn’t wait to find time in my day to read my Bible – it became much more than a book. I noticed things in the stories I had never noticed before, understood things I never understood before.  The more I learned about Jesus, the more I wanted to know.  I accepted the things God told me to do, even when I disagreed with them or when they put me at odds with the world.  I rid myself of habits I had struggled with for years.   I hurt for people where I hadn’t even noticed their suffering before.  I began to realize how far from God the world was getting.  I experienced peace and joy for the first time in my adult life.

 1 Corinthians 6:19 – “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,”

 While many of the powers Christians were given during the first years of the church can still be given, they are no longer the norm.  Certain gifts were given during that time to insure the Gospel would spread.  Speaking in tongues was necessary so that the Gospel could be taken to people who did not understand the language of the first converts.  Healing and exorcising demons was widespread and served as evidence that Jesus was truly the son of God.  News of those events attracted a lot of attention and word of them spread quickly in a world with none of the modern modes of mass communication we rely on today. 

 In our world today, confusion about the Holy Spirit abounds.  One Christian leader stated that the Church would never tolerate this kind of abuse of Jesus. Too many who claim to be committed followers of Christ insist on visible signs of spirituality.  Some decide we will be able to speak in foreign tongues as proof we are indwelled with the Holy Spirit; others believe we will have healing powers, the ability to avoid all sickness, or will amass great wealth as evidence that God dwells within us. Some are led to dress differently as a visible sign of the change they have experienced.  Some begin to live differently than the rest of the world, renouncing modern conveniences. But the most wondrous power of the Holy Spirit is in things we cannot see: understanding God and His Word, a full understanding of Jesus’s teachings, peace in the midst of trouble, assurance when we find ourselves doubting God, comfort during difficult trials, boldness to speak the Truth in a world that does not want to hear it. The Holy Spirit will even help us pray when we find it difficult to express our thoughts to God!  These are the things we experience that insure He is with us. 

Romans 8:26 – “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.”

 I know that I don’t fully understand His power and my faith in Him is often very weak.  I tend to think I’m on my own again, but nothing could be further from the truth.  In another passage from “The Prayer Life,” Andrew Murray writes:

 “When a Christian does not yield entirely to the leading of the Spirit…he lives, without knowing it, under the power of ‘the flesh.’  This life of ‘the flesh’ manifests itself in many different ways.  It appears in the hastiness of spirit, or the anger which so unexpectedly arises in you, in the lack of love for which you have so often blamed yourself; in the pleasure found in eating and drinking, about which at times your conscience has chidden you; in that seeking for your own will and honour, that confidence in your own wisdom and power, that pleasure in the world, of which you are sometimes ashamed before God.  All this is life ‘after the flesh.’”

 And, though I don’t want to admit it that is my answer:  I am still living life under the power of ‘the flesh.’  As God leads me to do certain things, I refuse, giving in to my excuses and fears.  I still look for the things that make my life comfortable and easy.  Instead of taking life a day at a time, I constantly look forward, hampering my ability to call on Him for help with my present situation.  After 50 years of doing things under my own power, I struggle to let go and truly give it all to Him.  But just as I did in December, 2009, each day I must yield myself to Him in the same way.  I must devote time each day to be with Him in silence, without imposing my will and thoughts on Him.  Again, I refer to Andrew Murray’s words (from Abiding in Christ):

 “And, last of all, even when the soul seeks truly to enter the way of faith, there is the impatience of the flesh, which forms its judgment of the life and progress of the soul not after the divine but the human standard.  In dealing with all this, and so much more, blessed the man who learns the lesson of stillness, and fully accepts God’s word: “In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.”  Each time he listens to the word of the Father, or asks the Father to listen to his words, he dares not begin his Bible reading or prayer without first pausing and waiting, until the soul be hushed in the presence of the Eternal Majesty.”

 Psalm 46:10 – “ Be still, and know that I am God;”

 The Holy Spirit’s unseen gifts are the greatest.  I have little interest in speaking a language I’ve never learned unless it is needed to lead another to Christ.  I have little interest in the gift of healing unless it is God’s plan for my life.  God does tell us that every believer will receive gifts that will speak volumes about what Christ can do in the lives of those who follow Him: peace, joy, wisdom.  I want to exhibit those things so a life dedicated to Christ is desired by everyone I am around. 

 Romans 15:13 – “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”

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LIPS ARE A SNARE

25 Monday Nov 2013

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Over the last 50-some years of life, I’ve hurt a lot of people with my words, written and spoken.  Each time it happens, I ask myself “When will you learn?!!” and vow to do better.  Then it happens again…and again….and again.  Just the other day I used the wrong word with someone I love very dearly and I know it hurt her.  It was totally unintentional but had I took the time to think about my response I could have chosen a better word to use.  In one careless milli-second, I caused pain for somebody I deeply care about with one little word.  Whoever said “Sticks and stones my break my bones but words will never hurt me” was dead wrong.

I want Matthew 12:36 taped to the inside of my eyelids:  “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,” If that doesn’t give me reason to choose every word carefully, nothing will.  I’m already formulating my explanation to God about this one incident and all I can come up with is, “I was in a hurry and didn’t stop and think.”  But, as I sit and contemplate that explanation, I know He’s not gonna buy it.  God’s gonna look at me, shake His head, and, if I’m lucky, ask me to take another stab at it.

God will insist on the truth and the truth is my word only reflected what was in my heart.  The Bible is pretty clear: our “tongue” issue is a heart issue.  The real reason I used the word I did was because I was frustrated and didn’t want the situation I had been presented with messing up my good mood.  It was a situation that we have dealt with for some time and I struggled to find patience to deal with it again.  It was a poor choice of words, but, given my attitude about it, I suspect had I stopped to consider using a different one it would have been similar to what I chose.  Instead of hurrying to respond to make sure my feelings were communicated, I should have prayed through the emotion until I was at a place where my response would have brought comfort rather than pain.

Matthew 15: 18 – “But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.”

During 2011, I used a Bible reading plan that included reading a chapter from Proverbs every day.  Some days I would read two.  There are 31 chapters, so over the course of a year I read each chapter more than 15 times.  It impacted me in a lot of ways, but most significantly it made me very aware of how I have not been as careful with my tongue as I should be and how dangerous that little muscle is.  I have used my words to intentionally cause someone pain, to make myself feel I’m better than someone else, to lie and to gossip.  I say spiteful things to my spouse when I feel hurt by him.  I’ve spent way too many hours apologizing for letting my emotions determine my response to people I work with and people I love.

James 3: 7, 8 – “For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind.  But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.”

Last year my father-in-law died suddenly and I took some time off from work.  Before leaving, I filled out leave forms so I wouldn’t have to deal with it when I returned.  My first morning back, our work leader told me she needed some additional forms as soon as I could get them to her.  I don’t remember everything I said, but I know I informed her that whatever forms she needed would not be forthcoming!  I was so mad my voice was shaking.  She responded by telling me that our manager had missed some and they had to be filled out.  I relented a bit and told her I would get to them whenever I could and began working on something else.  She hadn’t taken more than three steps away from my desk before God brought to my mind verses from the book of Proverbs.  Our work leader has a lot of responsibilities and, when it comes to tracking attendance, she doesn’t always get what she needs.  Knowing this, I realized my outburst had only made her job harder.  I was embarrassed and the things I said made me look foolish.  I took a deep breath and went right to her desk.  I said, “I am SO sorry for my behavior.  It was wrong and I hate that I made your morning and your job so much harder than it already is.”  She looked at me and said, “That’s OK.  I’m kind of used to it.”  I told her it was NOT OK and I hoped she could forgive me.  That was not an easy conversation but it changed our relationship.  And it highlighted for me that I do not want to be known as the “fool” who can’t control her tongue.

Ephesians 4:29 – “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

It is a daunting task to “tame the tongue.”  James (Chapter 3) tells us it is not possible.  So we must rely on the Holy Spirit’s power rather than our own.  My go-to reaction is anger, frustration, impatience.  As I look at my tongue problem, I have to be willing to admit my true heart problem.  By nature and nurture, I am not the most loving person.  As I work to turn this area of my life over to Christ, I have to remind myself how Christ loved me when I was not anywhere close to being the kind of person He wants me to be.  He loves me even on those days when I choose to disobey Him.   I have to learn to love people just as God loves me.  I have to demonstrate His love to others by my actions AND my words.  In order to do that, I can’t allow my emotions to determine my response – obedience and God’s truth are more reliable.  I’ll know I’ve made progress when my words consistently communicate love and patience instead of frustration, anger or judgment.

James 3:2 – “If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body.”

One day on a break at work, I looked up verses that talk about the tongue and/or our words.  I soon found that many of these verses also include the term “fool” (interesting!).   So I expanded my search to include that term, also.  In the span of about 15 minutes, I found more than 50 verses.  My words about words will never measure up to those God has given us so I’ll direct you to some of the verses I found (there are many more).  I would also recommend, as I often do, to read a chapter from Proverbs every day.  Once you’ve finished, go back and read the book again.  Keep it up for a year and you will have one more tool to use in your battle against the mighty tongue!

Proverbs 11:12 – “ Whoever derides their neighbor has no sense, but the one who has understanding holds their tongue.”

Proverbs 15:2 – “ The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.”

Proverbs 15:4 – “ The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.”

Proverbs 18:21 – “ The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Proverbs 21:23 – “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.”

Proverbs 10:19 – “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”

Proverbs 10:21 – “The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of judgment.”

Proverbs 12:18 – “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing”

Proverbs 18:2 – “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.”

Proverbs 18:7 – “A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul”

Proverbs 17:28 – “Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.”

THIS IS NOT MY HOME

16 Saturday Nov 2013

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In my Bible study I have come to the end of the four Gospels.  Along with Scripture I have been reading The Fourfold Gospel by J.W. McGarvey, recommended with the chronological reading plan I found.  McGarvey combines the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John and, as much as possible, puts all the events of Jesus’s life and resurrection in the order they happened.  It’s enlightening to read how Jesus’s teaching progressed and how the apostles’ understanding of His purpose here fluctuates.  Just when I think they understand His kingdom is not an earthly one, they start asking which of them is greater and request they be allowed to sit next to Him in His kingdom.  I am at the point where Judas has betrayed Jesus.  Soon I know His apostles will flee from Him in fear of being punished by the Jewish leaders and the Roman government.  As I learn new things about these events from McGarvey’s commentary, the story of Jesus’s arrest and crucifixion intensifies my emotions about the world’s rejection of God’s Son.

Matthew 26:40: “And he cometh unto the disciples, and findeth them asleep, and saith unto Peter, What, could ye not watch with me one hour?”

I moved away from God this past week.  I didn’t read my Bible most days, had some minor health issues that sidelined me and spent too much time in deep thought about too many things.  The days when I did pick up His Word, I was reading about the Jewish leaders building their case against Jesus, Judas carrying out his plan to betray Christ, and followers of Jesus leaving Him.  The reading material and my physical and emotional condition were not a good mix.  I felt hopeless about leading others to Jesus.  It’s a tall order and we generally have more failures than successes.  Of course, the mood of the week insured the failures were foremost in my mind.

I spent little time in prayer.  I talk to God constantly but this week I just didn’t know what to say to Him.  I felt angry at Him for not doing more to prepare others to hear His word and be more receptive to Him; angry that He asks us to do such a difficult thing.  I was angry at my friends and family who haven’t accepted Him; for being blind to the truth and not willing to learn about Jesus.  I understand that I may not be the one to lead them to Him and that increased my anger and frustration.  Because of the life I lived before finding Christ, I have little credibility with them and I wondered how God could possibly ever use me.  I know I have to keep listening to God and what He is trying to do in my life and be open to it, but this week I had little fight in me; I simply refused to call on the power of the Holy Spirit.  I spent the week in a valley and instead of moving closer to God, I kept moving farther away.

As I read about the end of Christ’s time on earth, it became clear that nothing has really changed.  People continue to misinterpret Jesus and His teachings, they crucify Him over and over and over, and few make Him the priority in their life.  I’m surrounded by too many people who dismiss God and all that He’s done in their lives.  They’re not thankful for the blessings they have received from Him, they live believing their answers to life’s problems are better than God’s ways.  They blame God for all the bad stuff yet call on Him for help when tragedies occur.  Much like David’s lament about enemies who prosper, I tired this week of seeing prideful, arrogant, worldly people experience great blessings and comfort in this world.

I fled from my Savior this week.  While I didn’t flee in fear of being punished, I fled from living as He has directed me to live.  I shifted my focus from Him to me.   The apostles fell asleep even though Jesus asked them to stay awake should He need them as He faced the suffering He would soon have to endure.   I failed Christ, too, as I gave in to weariness of living in a world I just don’t fit into.

John 15:16: “You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit,”

When the apostles learned of Christ’s resurrection, they looked back at the things Jesus had done and the things He had told them and they were able to put the pieces together.  They went from hiding in fear to boldly proclaiming the news to the world.  As I struggle to move forward in my Christian life, looking back at what God has done builds my faith and trust.  I see how He has kept every single promise He has ever made.  Today I will spend time in His Word and in prayer in order to feel His presence and remind myself how good God is and that His plan for me is a good one.  I’ll be reminded that no matter how small my role is in His Kingdom, it is an important one.  Jesus chose those twelve men to be His apostles because He knew they could do the things He needed them to do to fulfill His plan.  I must know that He chose me, too, and I can be confident that He chose me because I have something He can use to build His kingdom, even when I cannot fathom what that is.

James 4:8: “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.”

Living away from God is agonizing.  Spending the last week there reminds me how desperately I want to help others avoid eternity separated from Him.  I will continue to trust that He uses me to plant seeds and I must be about His business.   I cannot let my doubts and frustration tear down my faith in Him.

I know how the Gospel story ends and because of the things Jesus told His apostles during their three years together, they were able to put the pieces together and come to a full understanding of who Jesus really is, what He was here to do, and how they were to carry on with His purpose.  Despite living in a world with no mass communication, twelve followers spread the news of Jesus throughout the civilized world so that all people could receive God’s plan for their salvation.   As hopeless as I feel sometimes, their mission must have seemed infinitely more impossible.  I also know that Jesus warned us of the immensity of the task and that few would believe.  As we work to lead others to Him, we have to remember how far apart His ways are from the world’s ways.  Planting seeds is never a waste of time and it is all we do in the process of leading others to Him.  Even though we may never see what we have accomplished for Him, it is in faith we keep on doing what He calls us to do.

John 15:19: “If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.”

One of my favorite songs is about the fact that this world is not my home:  “All I know is I’m not home yet, this is not where I belong.”  Sometimes the reality of those words has a great impact on me and I long to be where all people love God as He deserves to be loved.  The closer I get to Jesus and realize how much God loves us, the more I struggle to live in a world that rejects Him more and more each day. 

This week won’t be my last struggle, but I pray I’ll handle the next one better!  The down times remind me how great the spiritual warfare is that I’m involved in and the worse thing I can do is flee from the One who can ease my pain.  I’m thankful God has given us what we need to have an abundant life here.  Now I gotta go spend some time with my Father!

John 16:33: “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”

WHEN “MERRY CHRISTMAS” BECOMES A STUMBLING BLOCK

11 Monday Nov 2013

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I love Christmas.  It’s my favorite holiday.  As I think about what we are celebrating, it never ceases to amaze me:  the Creator of the universe enters our world and takes on human form.  He begins His time on earth as a baby born of a virgin.  Our faith rests on believing Jesus’ virgin birth as a true historical event. As Christians we are to share the fact that God dwelt among us as a man with as many people as possible and Christmas provides a great opportunity to do that.  Jesus as a baby is easier to talk about than Jesus the man.  In the movie Talladega Nights, Bobby Ricky (played by Will Ferrell) proclaims “Baby Jesus is my favorite Jesus” to his dinner guests.  My guess is that’s how most people feel. Baby Jesus is safe.  Baby Jesus is a symbol of peace on earth, goodwill toward man.  Those messages are much more appealing than the things the adult Jesus stands for.   

There is one seasonal phenomenon that has started to rear its ugly head that needs careful thought:  Christians insisting that “Merry Christmas” is the only permissible phrase to be used this time of year.  In our zeal to insure Jesus is kept in the spotlight, we declare that “Happy Holidays” won’t do.   A couple of years ago, there was even an online effort encouraging people to boycott stores that refer to this time of the year only as the holidays.  In defending this stance, we claim we are trying to keep Christ in Christmas.

Matthew 28:19 – “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.”

As a committed follower of Jesus, we are to be conscious of how our behavior affects others, making sure it reflects Christ.  Every word we utter should be measured to insure we do not turn non-believers away from Him.  No matter the season, we must strive to show others’ His love.  Christmas provides an opportunity for talking to others about Jesus as we celebrate His birth, but focusing on telling everyone “Merry Christmas” with no regard to what they might believe is short-sighted.  It can also be regarded as a form of Phariseeism.  Just as the Pharisees wore their phylacteries on their forehead and long fringes on their robes to show others their religious position, wishing others Merry Christmas is merely an outward sign of our religion.  God isn’t concerned about outward signs.  He cares only for what is in our hearts.

Matthew 23:27: “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness.”

I jumped right on the bandwagon of letting everyone know that December is the celebration of Christ’s birth.  I was determined to put Christ back into Christmas.  I was a real soldier in the fight to re-claim December for Jesus.  I wore my “Jesus is the Reason for the Season” pin and responded to “Happy Holidays” with “Merry Christmas” believing I was standing up for my Savior.  One day I wished someone a Merry Christmas and her response was, “I’m Jewish.”  She smiled and wished me a Merry Christmas, telling me she hoped I enjoyed the holidays.  Her response showed much more love than I had been willing to show others.  While my hope is that all will come to know Christ, the reality is that many are not there yet.  If I am to be used by God to win people over, I have to demonstrate His love, just as this woman had done.  I showed no love for the lost during the time I was celebrating God’s great love for me. 

I Corinthians 8:11-13: “…when you … wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ.  Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never again eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.”

That brief conversation could’ve turned out much worse.  I was fortunate to have encountered a forgiving, tolerant Jewish woman who understood the holiday she celebrates during this time of the year is not that of the majority.  She was gentle in her correction of me.  I realized my insistence that Christmas be the only holiday recognized only demonstrates to others that I care very little for them.  It disregards the fact that many people do not know Jesus as their Savior.  My “Merry Christmas” message wasn’t about winning them to Christ – it was all about me.  It was more apt to be a stumbling block, moving them farther away from considering my faith as I shoved it onto them, showing little, if any respect for where they are spiritually at that moment.  I realized that lady was one of Christ’s lost sheep and I did nothing to draw her closer to Him with those two words.

The real spirit of Christmas is becoming more like our Savior in the spirit of selflessness.  Showing respect for others’ current belief only strengthens the chance they will consider Jesus.  As I shoved Christmas down the throat of every shop clerk and holiday shopper I could, I did not understand how selfish my crusade was.  My priority was MY belief, MY holiday.  I was not thinking about how disrespectful I was being to anyone who was not a follower of Jesus.  This was about as far from selflessness as I could get!  I heard a well-known teacher and preacher tell about his trip to India and he began talking about the need for the man he was visiting to go pray at his mosque.  I expected the Christian to use the opportunity to teach something about Jesus, but instead he agreed to accompany the man to the mosque.  I was quite surprised!  He didn’t object, didn’t use the situation to proclaim how wrong the other was in his beliefs.  He simply showed respect by allowing their meeting to be interrupted by the man’s religious practice.  He went on to tell how the incident helped their friendship grow as the man was more willing to listen due to the respect he had been shown.

Galatians 5:14: “For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

I thought about how I felt during my December “crusades” when someone wished me “Happy Holidays.”  I was offended.  I realized that is probably the reaction a non-believer has when I insist they have a “merry Christmas.”  Right or wrong, the fact is different people are celebrating different things at the very time we celebrate our Lord’s birth and we must recognize that.  Jesus meets us where we are.  He doesn’t require we clean up our act before He will extend His grace to us.  And He is our example of how we are to treat people. 

So what are we to make of businesses that have gone the way of the generic holiday?  Well, they have a business to run and they are trying to provide goods to anyone who might walk into their store.  “Happy holidays” covers everyone.  There are a number of different holiday celebrations during December:  Hanukkah is being celebrated by the Jewish people, Kwanzaa is celebrated by many African Americans, Eid Al Adha by Muslims, Festivus, a tongue-in-cheek holiday idea introduced on the TV show Seinfeld, has even been taken up by atheists!  Consider how a Muslim will appreciate your acknowledgment of Eid Al Adha, or how a Jewish family will cherish your card wishing them a Happy Hanukkah.  Your respect for their religious beliefs will open up many more opportunities for a discussion about Jesus. 

James 1:22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only…

Keeping Christ in Christmas is so much more than a phrase we utter or words we use during this time of the year.  We do a great disservice to God when we focus on these outward signs. If someone wishes me “happy holidays,” I can assume they are not a believer and should look for opportunities to share the good news with them.  Jesus made it very clear that we should not be like the Pharisees, bearing only outward signs of our love for God.  God’s desire is that we show compassion, mercy and love for others.  Wishing a non-believer a greeting that is in keeping with where they are spiritually is one way to show your respect and leave open the possibility that next year you’ll be able to wish them a “Merry Christmas!”

As the holiday season gets under way, I pray that I will remember the other celebrations taking place during this time and that I will look for opportunities to share the good news of Christ’s birth with someone ready to hear it.  But I must always remember that an appropriate greeting should be appropriate to the hearer.  I don’t want to slam the door on my ability to reach anybody – Merry Christmas should not be a stumbling block!

TRUE COMFORT FROM GOD

02 Saturday Nov 2013

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Life has always been a scary proposition for me.  I was born in 1959 so my early childhood was filled with death and war.  One of my earliest memories was the assassination of John F. Kennedy and I remember snippets of his funeral on TV.   That death was followed by the assassinations of Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King and I remember watching the news about those, too.  All of this was overshadowed by the daily nightmare of the Vietnam War.  My 21-year-old uncle was drafted, sent to Vietnam in April of 1966, was wounded and died that September.  Not long after that my grandfather, whom I loved dearly, was in a bad truck accident and they didn’t know if he would survive.  My cousin burned his legs with gasoline and I watched as he screamed in pain whenever they tried to move him.  My aunt got cancer and we visited her in the cancer hospital – a very bleak place.  We moved a lot during that time and I was “painfully shy” (words my teachers used to describe me) so adjusting to the different schools was difficult.  On top of all this was the chaos of the 60’s.  The rules everyone had lived by no longer applied and I listened as the adults lamented the end of the world. Life scared me.

As I listened to adults talk about these tragic events, I didn’t hear any mention of the fact that God is ultimately in control of it all and that He has a plan for this world.  Many in my family told me they believed in God, a few talked about Jesus, but I never saw that their beliefs brought them any comfort.  Their words and actions only expressed fear and the response to most problems was anger.  Perhaps I was just never around when they actually talked about the comfort God provided them.  I do remember my mother telling me that she got through life because she trusts God but we didn’t go to church, I never actually saw her reading her Bible and she didn’t teach me anything about God or Jesus, so I wasn’t able to figure out how she felt comforted by Him.  I just knew that over my lifetime I knew about God but that head knowledge had not comforted me.

As a child, I found comfort sitting on my grandpa’s lap, getting hugs and being tucked into bed by my mom and spending time with my grandmother.  These physical expressions of love helped me deal with my fears.  But as I looked to God for comfort, I wasn’t sure how to experience the calm I found through physical expressions from a being I cannot see, someone who cannot hug me or allow me to curl up in His lap.  I had no trouble finding comfort in God in normal day-to-day living, but I had not had a trial that tested my trust in Him. Then it happened.

Psalm 23:4 – “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; ForYou are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”

As I struggled with overwhelming fear and anxiety once again, I was determined to use the tools God provides instead of going back to the coping skills I used before.  I was not going to let my fears consume me and take away the peace I had found.  The Holy Spirit now dwells within me and I knew I needed to allow His power to work in me this time.  I was determined to deal with this trial His way. My expectation was that I could experience the same comfort I felt from the hugs I got as a child.  I trusted that God would completely fulfill my expectation.  I had to do the things I had learned as I studied His Word.

Psalm 34:17 – “When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.”

I pray consistently throughout each day but as the weight of my struggle overwhelmed me, I had to change my conversations with God.   I needed to stop talking during my prayers and spend more time listening to “hear” what He wanted me to know. One of the first things He bought to my mind was the fact that He is in the midst of answering one of my prayers.  Each time I had taken this particular request to Him I assured Him that I trusted Him to work it out and I would trust Him no matter what that might look like.  My daughter and I often talk about how our anticipation of an event never prepares us for how it actually feels.  I slowly understood that fear is going to be there but ultimately I have to fully trust God and truly believe His promises.

2 Timothy 1:7 – “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

I was also reminded to stay out of His way.  My instinct to help too often becomes enabling and it is difficult for me to sit back and watch those I love go through trials.  God reminded me that trials are how He builds our character and refines us and each time I went to Him in prayer, He laid on my heart to trust Him in all of it, including those times when I can help but shouldn’t.  I was also reminded that in order to get eternal results, some temporal things must happen that don’t always look promising!  Most importantly, I must always keep in mind that the ultimate purpose of prayer is to build my relationship with God.  Prayer is companionship with Him.  My attitude about prayer must not be about asking and getting, but being with Him.  As I made this the priority for my prayer life, I found comfort.

Habakkuk 3:17-19 – “Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord;”

The other change I had to make in my prayer life was shifting my focus from my struggle to praising God and thanking Him for who He is and all He has given us.  Shifting my thoughts from trouble and worry to thankfulness reminds me of God’s goodness which stops my inclination to blame God for allowing pain in our lives.  I remember that He has a plan for this world and for me and that it is good.  In his book Prayer: Does It Make a Difference Phillip Yancey includes the words of Helmut Thielicke, a German preacher offering words of encouragement to his congregation in the midst of suffering under the Nazi regime:

“One day, perhaps, when we look back from God’s throne on the last day we shall say with amazement and surprise, “If I had ever dreamed that God was only carrying out His design and plan…, that in the midst of my cares and troubles and despair… everything was pressing on toward His last kingly day …I would have been more calm and confident; yes, then I would have been more cheerful and far more tranquil and composed.”

Romans 15:4 – “For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.” 

I read the Bible just about every day and even when things are going smoothly skipping days leaves me feeling lost and empty.  Often as I face smaller struggles, the last thing I want to do is read my Bible, but I know God wants to “talk” to us through His Word and as soon as I go to Him there, the emptiness is gone.  I generally spend time reading whatever plan I am currently following; isolated quotes never helped me much until I began reading the Bible in chronological order.  Using this type of reading plan, I was able to read what King David was experiencing when he wrote each of his Psalms.  I saw how David went to the Lord in honest prayer to express his emotions and how he recalled God’s attributes and promises to get him through each trial. In the same way, reading God’s promises in context helps me see the problems His people were facing when He revealed the promise.   After following the chronological reading plan three times I have a better understanding of the context of scripture and I can better apply them to different situations.  In addition to reading relevant scripture, I know the Bible is God’s way of talking to us and with the knowledge that every word written comes from Him, I am better able to feel His presence.  It’s almost as good as a hug from God!

Hebrews 10:25 – “Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another,”

Fellowship with other Christians is my greatest struggle, but I have started building relationships and knew I needed others during this time.  Once again my daughter was my main means of support, but I also reached out to my LifeGroup from church, asking them for prayer.  Their e-mail messages assuring me they would be praying for me brought comfort that I was surprised to feel.  There is a big difference when you know the people praying for you really do believe in the power of prayer and that they do genuinely care about you.  With these people I know the phrase “I’ll pray for you” is not just an empty phrase.  They believe in it and they do it.

I experienced God’s comfort by doing the things He tells me to do: praying, reading His word, and seeking support and encouragement from fellow believers.  Though I cannot see Him or receive a physical hug from Him, I experienced real comfort directly from Him.  He IS with us and, if we will reach out to Him, He will comfort us.

Matthew 28:20 – “and lo, I am with you always”