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ME IS A HARD HABIT TO BREAK

23 Monday Dec 2013

Posted by carolyncam1 in Uncategorized

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Christ, contentment, desires, flesh, God, happiness, Jesus, love, peace, regrets, self-esteem, sin

I know our focus on self is nothing new.  It’s human nature.  As Solomon reminds us in Ecclesiastes “There is nothing new under the sun.”  Since Cain killed Abel, man’s priority has been himself.  The degree of self-absorption in the world is a cycle – it peaks, and then subsides.  Each generation feels more justified in elevating self and the consequences of decisions made during the peak times are disastrous – the value of human life declines , violence increases, God is put on trial, morality becomes relative, selfish desires overtake morality as a basis for personal and political decisions, and individuals emphasize their rights without acknowledging responsibilities.  As self-absorbed as we are today, I often wonder what life will look like for my grandchildren.    

Luke 9:23-24 -“If anyone wants to become my follower, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.”

In my 20’s I told myself that I wasn’t going to waste my life being unhappy.  I read somewhere that if I was unhappy, my spouse and children could not possibly be happy as they would suffer the effects of my misery.  That sounded logical and I bought it hook, line and sinker.  If something in my life wasn’t going the way I thought it should, I changed it or got rid of it.  The few times I did stop to think about how my lifestyle was affecting others, I was convinced I was saving them from having to live with an unhappy me.  The thought that this way of living was me-centered never crossed my mind.  I was afraid of getting old and having regrets.  Living a life centered on me became such a habit that much of the time I wasn’t even aware that’s what I was doing. 

As I struggled with confidence and trying to fit into the world, I bought into the idea that it was a self-esteem issue, my locus of control was out of whack, as I learned in a college class.  The gist of this theory is that in order to enjoy life we must believe that we have the ability to control the events in our lives.  My boss once said to me, “Stop walking into a room wondering what everybody thinks about you.  Walk in and ask yourself what you think about them.”  He was getting closer to the right answer, but still missed the mark.  Even the solutions to my “me problem” left me focusing on myself!    

Despite being assured that putting myself first in life was a sure path to a happy life, at fifty years old I had nothing but regrets.  I was no closer to feeling comfortable in the world than I had been in my 20’s and 30’s.  We justify putting ourselves first in so many ways – we have a “right”, we expect life to be fair, the world tells us to put ourselves first.  We live in a self-centered society that approves of all of this.  We’re told to build our self-esteem, achieve self-actualization or self-realization.  We’re encouraged to find ourselves and never get so involved with others that we “lose our identity.”  It doesn’t work; we only end up getting buried deeper in ourselves. 

Philippians 2:3 – “Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself.”

Then I committed my life to Christ.  I thought my “me problem” was solved.  After all, I was living for Jesus now.  But it crept into my Christian life.  I went to church waiting for people to come to me.  I quit going when I wasn’t getting what I needed.  I waited for people in the church to help me without asking.  I expected my church to provide the things I needed.  I hesitated to make friends because I dwelt on my past life and used it as an excuse to keep people at arm’s length.  My husband didn’t attend church so I felt lonely and sorry for myself.  It was all about me and the problems I was encountering as a new Christian. I wasn’t focusing on Jesus – I was still focused on myself.  I had moments when I was aware of what I was doing and I would tell my daughter “Me is a hard habit to break.”  Finally, it sunk in.  God began making me aware of how many times I thought about my Christian walk in terms of “me, my, I.” 

Romans 7:15 – “For I don’t understand what I am doing. For I do not do what I want – instead, I do what I hate.”

I began to look for the part of God’s truth that would put me on the right path once and for all.  Each time I thought I had found it, I failed again and each time found it harder to forgive myself for not being able to master this problem.  I began to think that my “me habit” was unconquerable.

Then I ran across Steven Cole’s Bible Study “Following Self or Jesus” at Bible.Org (Lesson #43).  He assures us that “dying to self is a daily task.”  I found comfort in that.  It gave me a different battle plan.  Rather than looking for one single answer that would rid me of the problem, I had to begin to look at it as a daily battle with the potential that each day’s struggle may demand a different answer.  But the answer will always be found in God’s truth.  When my emotions or desires tell me to act in a way that’s opposite of God’s commands, I must choose God’s way.  And I can only do that by being silent and remembering God’s Words.  In order to do that, I must be familiar with them.  Reading my Bible every day is the key.  Praying for strength and wisdom is the other tool I use.  While Steven Cole reminds us it’s a daily struggle, I suggest it is a struggle in each situation we deal with.

Read Steven Cole’s words on the role of self-esteem in Christian life (Following Self or Jesus? Lesson #43):   Thirty years ago, the teaching that Christians should love themselves and have proper self-esteem was virtually unheard of in evangelical circles.   …, for many years I taught that we need “proper” self-esteem. But then I came to see that the entire teaching is opposed to and condemned by Scripture. And I have grown increasingly concerned that because of the pervasiveness of this false teaching, there are many who think that they’re following Jesus, when actually they are only following self. They have been taught that the Christian faith and even Christian ministry are the avenues toward self-fulfillment. They’ve been told that Jesus will help you learn to love yourself, when in fact Jesus taught nothing of the kind. 

Taking up your cross is not something you accomplish in an emotional moment of spiritual ecstasy or dedication. You never arrive on a spiritual mountaintop where you can sigh with relief, “I’m finally there! No more death to self!” Nor are there any shortcuts or quick fixes to this painful process. The need for dying to self is never finished in this life; it must be a daily thing.  …When selfish thoughts (“I have my rights! I don’t have to take this!”) crowd your mind, you nail them to the cross by praying, “Lord Jesus, You gave up all Your rights, took on the form of a servant and became obedient to death on the cross for me. Help me to display that same attitude right now” (Phil. 2:5-8).

If, like me a few years ago, you have been taken in by the self-esteem teaching, I encourage you to re-evaluate it in light of all Scripture, especially, Luke 9:23. You won’t find a single verse telling you to build your self-esteem or to love yourself more.

Love Christ, put Him first.  Listen to what you’re saying to yourself in each situation.  When you hear any reference to yourself, consciously make yourself focus on Jesus.  It’s an ongoing struggle because our sin nature still resides in us, but you can build the habit of re-focusing on Jesus and doing things His way.  You’ll find your value only in Him.  He counted you worthy to die on the cross for. 

Romans 5:7, 8 – “ (For rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person perhaps someone might possibly dare to die.)But God demonstrates his own love for us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

THE TRUE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT

30 Saturday Nov 2013

Posted by carolyncam1 in Uncategorized

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Bible, faith, flesh, gifts, God, Gospel, Holy Spirit, Jesus, joy, peace, tongues, Trinity

In December, 2009, I yielded my life to Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, the third person of the Trinity, began dwelling within me.  It is a wondrous thing to think about. In his book “The Prayer Life” Andrew Murray tells us exactly who the Holy Spirit is and how we must think about Him:

 “What was the peculiar privilege of the disciples, who were always in fellowship with him?  It was uninterrupted enjoyment of the presence of the Lord Jesus.  It was because of this they were so sorrowful at the thought of His death.  They would be deprived of that presence.  He would be no longer with them.  How, under these circumstances, did the Lord Jesus comfort them?  He promised that the Holy Spirit from heaven should so work in them a sense of the fullness of His life and of His personal presence that He would be even more intimately near and have more unbroken fellowship with them than ever they experienced while He was upon earth.”

 Initially the Holy Spirit’s presence in my life brought about some dramatic changes.  I couldn’t wait to find time in my day to read my Bible – it became much more than a book. I noticed things in the stories I had never noticed before, understood things I never understood before.  The more I learned about Jesus, the more I wanted to know.  I accepted the things God told me to do, even when I disagreed with them or when they put me at odds with the world.  I rid myself of habits I had struggled with for years.   I hurt for people where I hadn’t even noticed their suffering before.  I began to realize how far from God the world was getting.  I experienced peace and joy for the first time in my adult life.

 1 Corinthians 6:19 – “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,”

 While many of the powers Christians were given during the first years of the church can still be given, they are no longer the norm.  Certain gifts were given during that time to insure the Gospel would spread.  Speaking in tongues was necessary so that the Gospel could be taken to people who did not understand the language of the first converts.  Healing and exorcising demons was widespread and served as evidence that Jesus was truly the son of God.  News of those events attracted a lot of attention and word of them spread quickly in a world with none of the modern modes of mass communication we rely on today. 

 In our world today, confusion about the Holy Spirit abounds.  One Christian leader stated that the Church would never tolerate this kind of abuse of Jesus. Too many who claim to be committed followers of Christ insist on visible signs of spirituality.  Some decide we will be able to speak in foreign tongues as proof we are indwelled with the Holy Spirit; others believe we will have healing powers, the ability to avoid all sickness, or will amass great wealth as evidence that God dwells within us. Some are led to dress differently as a visible sign of the change they have experienced.  Some begin to live differently than the rest of the world, renouncing modern conveniences. But the most wondrous power of the Holy Spirit is in things we cannot see: understanding God and His Word, a full understanding of Jesus’s teachings, peace in the midst of trouble, assurance when we find ourselves doubting God, comfort during difficult trials, boldness to speak the Truth in a world that does not want to hear it. The Holy Spirit will even help us pray when we find it difficult to express our thoughts to God!  These are the things we experience that insure He is with us. 

Romans 8:26 – “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.”

 I know that I don’t fully understand His power and my faith in Him is often very weak.  I tend to think I’m on my own again, but nothing could be further from the truth.  In another passage from “The Prayer Life,” Andrew Murray writes:

 “When a Christian does not yield entirely to the leading of the Spirit…he lives, without knowing it, under the power of ‘the flesh.’  This life of ‘the flesh’ manifests itself in many different ways.  It appears in the hastiness of spirit, or the anger which so unexpectedly arises in you, in the lack of love for which you have so often blamed yourself; in the pleasure found in eating and drinking, about which at times your conscience has chidden you; in that seeking for your own will and honour, that confidence in your own wisdom and power, that pleasure in the world, of which you are sometimes ashamed before God.  All this is life ‘after the flesh.’”

 And, though I don’t want to admit it that is my answer:  I am still living life under the power of ‘the flesh.’  As God leads me to do certain things, I refuse, giving in to my excuses and fears.  I still look for the things that make my life comfortable and easy.  Instead of taking life a day at a time, I constantly look forward, hampering my ability to call on Him for help with my present situation.  After 50 years of doing things under my own power, I struggle to let go and truly give it all to Him.  But just as I did in December, 2009, each day I must yield myself to Him in the same way.  I must devote time each day to be with Him in silence, without imposing my will and thoughts on Him.  Again, I refer to Andrew Murray’s words (from Abiding in Christ):

 “And, last of all, even when the soul seeks truly to enter the way of faith, there is the impatience of the flesh, which forms its judgment of the life and progress of the soul not after the divine but the human standard.  In dealing with all this, and so much more, blessed the man who learns the lesson of stillness, and fully accepts God’s word: “In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.”  Each time he listens to the word of the Father, or asks the Father to listen to his words, he dares not begin his Bible reading or prayer without first pausing and waiting, until the soul be hushed in the presence of the Eternal Majesty.”

 Psalm 46:10 – “ Be still, and know that I am God;”

 The Holy Spirit’s unseen gifts are the greatest.  I have little interest in speaking a language I’ve never learned unless it is needed to lead another to Christ.  I have little interest in the gift of healing unless it is God’s plan for my life.  God does tell us that every believer will receive gifts that will speak volumes about what Christ can do in the lives of those who follow Him: peace, joy, wisdom.  I want to exhibit those things so a life dedicated to Christ is desired by everyone I am around. 

 Romans 15:13 – “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”

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