Tag Archives: love

KNOWING GOD

27 Saturday Sep 2014

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I surprised myself a few days ago when I was able to answer a rather complicated question about God posed by a preacher on the radio. As I sat feeling a bit more smug than I should, it occurred to me that the answer would not have been found in any one Scripture that I might have been able to call to mind.  I hadn’t memorized the answer from one of the many books I have read or a sermon I’ve heard.  I was able to arrive at the answer because I know God.  Oh, I still have a lot to learn about Him, but it was a lightbulb moment when I understood that the Creator of the universe is knowable.

When I first became a Christian, I was desperate to learn all I could about the events and people in the Bible. My goal was to learn and remember as much as I could.  I wrote out genealogies, a chronology of all the major events, and each of the Jewish festivals and the meaning behind each one.  I mapped out a timeline of kings adding important notes about each one, whether they were good or bad, whether they ruled in Judah or Israel.  I wanted to be sure I knew what message each of the prophets delivered, to whom they tried to speak, and how they died.  I was clearly learning historical facts about God’s work in our world.  What I didn’t realize was that I was also learning about God Himself.  Through the events He included in His message to us, I learned about His faithfulness, His goodness, and how great His love is for us.

Deuteronomy 4:29 – “But from there you will seek the Lord your God, and you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul.”

Each year for the past five years I have read the entire Bible. Each year God brings so many new things to my attention. Each time I spend time in God’s Word, I remind myself that this book is how God chose to tell us things He wants us to know and I feel so close to Him.  Sometimes I am surprised at the thoughts He brings to my mind, the insights He gives me.  Some days I read and don’t have this experience but even on those days I feel near to God as I read.  It’s so amazing to know the God that created me wants me to know Him.  The relationship is not one-sided – it is not merely that God knows me so intimately – He has provided ways for me to know Him in the same way.

In addition to reading the Bible, I regularly listen to respected Christian teachers on the radio, at my church and on TV (although I have learned to be very careful about whom I watch on TV – it seems to be the one media where false teachers abound!). Allistair Begg, James MacDonald, Erwin Lutzer, Ravi Zacharias, Hank Hanegraaff, Charles Stanley, Michael Yousseff, Adrian Rogers, Ron Jones, Chip Ingram and Tony Evans are just a few that I can count on to present sound Biblical teaching.  Christian authors are another provision from God to help us know Him better: Arthur Murray, C.S. Lewis, George Muller, A.W. Tozer, Dietrich Bonhoffer, and many current Christian authors.  Each day, after reading and meditating on Scripture, I read other Christian books, often two or three books at a time!  On days when I feel down I pop on the earplugs and listen to Christian music.  It is so uplifting and provides a way for me to praise God instead of focusing on myself.  It’s better than any anti-depressant I have ever been prescribed!

To know God, we must seek Him – earnestly and diligently. There’s no quick or easy way to do this.  Just as in our human relationships, it takes time.  Don’t neglect this essential aspect of your Christian life.  It is so much easier to obey and serve God when you know Him.  It’s easy to come up with excuses.  Those dirty dishes will still be there, the laundry will remain in that hamper until you’ve spent time with God.  Knowing Him will actually make washing those dishes and clothes a more joyful activity – because you will understand how every activity in your day can be used to glorify Him!

For so many years, I worked on memorizing other people’s answers or finding Scripture that answer questions others might ask about God. But as I have got to know God better, I can reason through what I know to be true about Him.  Knowing His character and His attributes is the best way to equip ourselves to lead others to Him and to help them know Him rightly.  Knowing Him also helps me make decisions that will glorify Him and bless me, giving me the best life possible.  Knowing Him helps me get through difficult times because I know of His faithfulness and great love.  He is a very real presence in my life when I make Him the priority.  Not only does He make each day more joyful, His strength and comfort have become real resources that I can call on to get me through the struggles.

How blessed are we that we serve a God that wants us to know Him and has provided so many ways that enable us to have a relationship with Him!

1 Chronicles 28:9 – “As for you, my son Solomon, know the God of your father, and serve Him with a loyal heart and with a willing mind; for the Lord searches all hearts and understands all the intent of the thoughts. If you seek Him, He will be found by you; but if you forsake Him, He will cast you off forever.”

ME IS A HARD HABIT TO BREAK

23 Monday Dec 2013

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I know our focus on self is nothing new.  It’s human nature.  As Solomon reminds us in Ecclesiastes “There is nothing new under the sun.”  Since Cain killed Abel, man’s priority has been himself.  The degree of self-absorption in the world is a cycle – it peaks, and then subsides.  Each generation feels more justified in elevating self and the consequences of decisions made during the peak times are disastrous – the value of human life declines , violence increases, God is put on trial, morality becomes relative, selfish desires overtake morality as a basis for personal and political decisions, and individuals emphasize their rights without acknowledging responsibilities.  As self-absorbed as we are today, I often wonder what life will look like for my grandchildren.    

Luke 9:23-24 -“If anyone wants to become my follower, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.”

In my 20’s I told myself that I wasn’t going to waste my life being unhappy.  I read somewhere that if I was unhappy, my spouse and children could not possibly be happy as they would suffer the effects of my misery.  That sounded logical and I bought it hook, line and sinker.  If something in my life wasn’t going the way I thought it should, I changed it or got rid of it.  The few times I did stop to think about how my lifestyle was affecting others, I was convinced I was saving them from having to live with an unhappy me.  The thought that this way of living was me-centered never crossed my mind.  I was afraid of getting old and having regrets.  Living a life centered on me became such a habit that much of the time I wasn’t even aware that’s what I was doing. 

As I struggled with confidence and trying to fit into the world, I bought into the idea that it was a self-esteem issue, my locus of control was out of whack, as I learned in a college class.  The gist of this theory is that in order to enjoy life we must believe that we have the ability to control the events in our lives.  My boss once said to me, “Stop walking into a room wondering what everybody thinks about you.  Walk in and ask yourself what you think about them.”  He was getting closer to the right answer, but still missed the mark.  Even the solutions to my “me problem” left me focusing on myself!    

Despite being assured that putting myself first in life was a sure path to a happy life, at fifty years old I had nothing but regrets.  I was no closer to feeling comfortable in the world than I had been in my 20’s and 30’s.  We justify putting ourselves first in so many ways – we have a “right”, we expect life to be fair, the world tells us to put ourselves first.  We live in a self-centered society that approves of all of this.  We’re told to build our self-esteem, achieve self-actualization or self-realization.  We’re encouraged to find ourselves and never get so involved with others that we “lose our identity.”  It doesn’t work; we only end up getting buried deeper in ourselves. 

Philippians 2:3 – “Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself.”

Then I committed my life to Christ.  I thought my “me problem” was solved.  After all, I was living for Jesus now.  But it crept into my Christian life.  I went to church waiting for people to come to me.  I quit going when I wasn’t getting what I needed.  I waited for people in the church to help me without asking.  I expected my church to provide the things I needed.  I hesitated to make friends because I dwelt on my past life and used it as an excuse to keep people at arm’s length.  My husband didn’t attend church so I felt lonely and sorry for myself.  It was all about me and the problems I was encountering as a new Christian. I wasn’t focusing on Jesus – I was still focused on myself.  I had moments when I was aware of what I was doing and I would tell my daughter “Me is a hard habit to break.”  Finally, it sunk in.  God began making me aware of how many times I thought about my Christian walk in terms of “me, my, I.” 

Romans 7:15 – “For I don’t understand what I am doing. For I do not do what I want – instead, I do what I hate.”

I began to look for the part of God’s truth that would put me on the right path once and for all.  Each time I thought I had found it, I failed again and each time found it harder to forgive myself for not being able to master this problem.  I began to think that my “me habit” was unconquerable.

Then I ran across Steven Cole’s Bible Study “Following Self or Jesus” at Bible.Org (Lesson #43).  He assures us that “dying to self is a daily task.”  I found comfort in that.  It gave me a different battle plan.  Rather than looking for one single answer that would rid me of the problem, I had to begin to look at it as a daily battle with the potential that each day’s struggle may demand a different answer.  But the answer will always be found in God’s truth.  When my emotions or desires tell me to act in a way that’s opposite of God’s commands, I must choose God’s way.  And I can only do that by being silent and remembering God’s Words.  In order to do that, I must be familiar with them.  Reading my Bible every day is the key.  Praying for strength and wisdom is the other tool I use.  While Steven Cole reminds us it’s a daily struggle, I suggest it is a struggle in each situation we deal with.

Read Steven Cole’s words on the role of self-esteem in Christian life (Following Self or Jesus? Lesson #43):   Thirty years ago, the teaching that Christians should love themselves and have proper self-esteem was virtually unheard of in evangelical circles.   …, for many years I taught that we need “proper” self-esteem. But then I came to see that the entire teaching is opposed to and condemned by Scripture. And I have grown increasingly concerned that because of the pervasiveness of this false teaching, there are many who think that they’re following Jesus, when actually they are only following self. They have been taught that the Christian faith and even Christian ministry are the avenues toward self-fulfillment. They’ve been told that Jesus will help you learn to love yourself, when in fact Jesus taught nothing of the kind. 

Taking up your cross is not something you accomplish in an emotional moment of spiritual ecstasy or dedication. You never arrive on a spiritual mountaintop where you can sigh with relief, “I’m finally there! No more death to self!” Nor are there any shortcuts or quick fixes to this painful process. The need for dying to self is never finished in this life; it must be a daily thing.  …When selfish thoughts (“I have my rights! I don’t have to take this!”) crowd your mind, you nail them to the cross by praying, “Lord Jesus, You gave up all Your rights, took on the form of a servant and became obedient to death on the cross for me. Help me to display that same attitude right now” (Phil. 2:5-8).

If, like me a few years ago, you have been taken in by the self-esteem teaching, I encourage you to re-evaluate it in light of all Scripture, especially, Luke 9:23. You won’t find a single verse telling you to build your self-esteem or to love yourself more.

Love Christ, put Him first.  Listen to what you’re saying to yourself in each situation.  When you hear any reference to yourself, consciously make yourself focus on Jesus.  It’s an ongoing struggle because our sin nature still resides in us, but you can build the habit of re-focusing on Jesus and doing things His way.  You’ll find your value only in Him.  He counted you worthy to die on the cross for. 

Romans 5:7, 8 – “ (For rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person perhaps someone might possibly dare to die.)But God demonstrates his own love for us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

LIPS ARE A SNARE

25 Monday Nov 2013

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Over the last 50-some years of life, I’ve hurt a lot of people with my words, written and spoken.  Each time it happens, I ask myself “When will you learn?!!” and vow to do better.  Then it happens again…and again….and again.  Just the other day I used the wrong word with someone I love very dearly and I know it hurt her.  It was totally unintentional but had I took the time to think about my response I could have chosen a better word to use.  In one careless milli-second, I caused pain for somebody I deeply care about with one little word.  Whoever said “Sticks and stones my break my bones but words will never hurt me” was dead wrong.

I want Matthew 12:36 taped to the inside of my eyelids:  “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,” If that doesn’t give me reason to choose every word carefully, nothing will.  I’m already formulating my explanation to God about this one incident and all I can come up with is, “I was in a hurry and didn’t stop and think.”  But, as I sit and contemplate that explanation, I know He’s not gonna buy it.  God’s gonna look at me, shake His head, and, if I’m lucky, ask me to take another stab at it.

God will insist on the truth and the truth is my word only reflected what was in my heart.  The Bible is pretty clear: our “tongue” issue is a heart issue.  The real reason I used the word I did was because I was frustrated and didn’t want the situation I had been presented with messing up my good mood.  It was a situation that we have dealt with for some time and I struggled to find patience to deal with it again.  It was a poor choice of words, but, given my attitude about it, I suspect had I stopped to consider using a different one it would have been similar to what I chose.  Instead of hurrying to respond to make sure my feelings were communicated, I should have prayed through the emotion until I was at a place where my response would have brought comfort rather than pain.

Matthew 15: 18 – “But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.”

During 2011, I used a Bible reading plan that included reading a chapter from Proverbs every day.  Some days I would read two.  There are 31 chapters, so over the course of a year I read each chapter more than 15 times.  It impacted me in a lot of ways, but most significantly it made me very aware of how I have not been as careful with my tongue as I should be and how dangerous that little muscle is.  I have used my words to intentionally cause someone pain, to make myself feel I’m better than someone else, to lie and to gossip.  I say spiteful things to my spouse when I feel hurt by him.  I’ve spent way too many hours apologizing for letting my emotions determine my response to people I work with and people I love.

James 3: 7, 8 – “For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind.  But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.”

Last year my father-in-law died suddenly and I took some time off from work.  Before leaving, I filled out leave forms so I wouldn’t have to deal with it when I returned.  My first morning back, our work leader told me she needed some additional forms as soon as I could get them to her.  I don’t remember everything I said, but I know I informed her that whatever forms she needed would not be forthcoming!  I was so mad my voice was shaking.  She responded by telling me that our manager had missed some and they had to be filled out.  I relented a bit and told her I would get to them whenever I could and began working on something else.  She hadn’t taken more than three steps away from my desk before God brought to my mind verses from the book of Proverbs.  Our work leader has a lot of responsibilities and, when it comes to tracking attendance, she doesn’t always get what she needs.  Knowing this, I realized my outburst had only made her job harder.  I was embarrassed and the things I said made me look foolish.  I took a deep breath and went right to her desk.  I said, “I am SO sorry for my behavior.  It was wrong and I hate that I made your morning and your job so much harder than it already is.”  She looked at me and said, “That’s OK.  I’m kind of used to it.”  I told her it was NOT OK and I hoped she could forgive me.  That was not an easy conversation but it changed our relationship.  And it highlighted for me that I do not want to be known as the “fool” who can’t control her tongue.

Ephesians 4:29 – “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

It is a daunting task to “tame the tongue.”  James (Chapter 3) tells us it is not possible.  So we must rely on the Holy Spirit’s power rather than our own.  My go-to reaction is anger, frustration, impatience.  As I look at my tongue problem, I have to be willing to admit my true heart problem.  By nature and nurture, I am not the most loving person.  As I work to turn this area of my life over to Christ, I have to remind myself how Christ loved me when I was not anywhere close to being the kind of person He wants me to be.  He loves me even on those days when I choose to disobey Him.   I have to learn to love people just as God loves me.  I have to demonstrate His love to others by my actions AND my words.  In order to do that, I can’t allow my emotions to determine my response – obedience and God’s truth are more reliable.  I’ll know I’ve made progress when my words consistently communicate love and patience instead of frustration, anger or judgment.

James 3:2 – “If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body.”

One day on a break at work, I looked up verses that talk about the tongue and/or our words.  I soon found that many of these verses also include the term “fool” (interesting!).   So I expanded my search to include that term, also.  In the span of about 15 minutes, I found more than 50 verses.  My words about words will never measure up to those God has given us so I’ll direct you to some of the verses I found (there are many more).  I would also recommend, as I often do, to read a chapter from Proverbs every day.  Once you’ve finished, go back and read the book again.  Keep it up for a year and you will have one more tool to use in your battle against the mighty tongue!

Proverbs 11:12 – “ Whoever derides their neighbor has no sense, but the one who has understanding holds their tongue.”

Proverbs 15:2 – “ The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.”

Proverbs 15:4 – “ The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.”

Proverbs 18:21 – “ The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Proverbs 21:23 – “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.”

Proverbs 10:19 – “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”

Proverbs 10:21 – “The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of judgment.”

Proverbs 12:18 – “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing”

Proverbs 18:2 – “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.”

Proverbs 18:7 – “A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul”

Proverbs 17:28 – “Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.”

LOVE BEYOND COMPREHENSION

25 Friday Oct 2013

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You know how you can be skipping along through life and one day realize you never fully understood something you thought you had figured out a long time ago?   That happened to me the other night.  I was praying, asking God to help me through a struggle I am experiencing.  As is my habit, my prayer consisted of expressing my trust that He will work it out for good while questioning what I needed to do to correct the situation and asking Him to forgive me for getting in His way.  My prayer brought on more frustration than peace. 

Psalm 46:10 – “Be still, and know that I am God”

Then God’s still, small voice came to me and I felt His presence. It was as if God was physically beside me, cradling me in His arms as He whispered into my ear “My child, you do not yet understand my love for you.”  It literally took my breath away.  I started to respond but immediately understood that this was a time to listen; to be still.  I lay there thinking about what I have experienced and what I have learned over the past four years, and what I know to be true about God.   He brought to my mind how I keep struggling to insure I live up to the love He has for me, even though I know in my mind He requires nothing from me.  I recalled how I constantly try not to disappoint Him and He reminded me that even when I do it doesn’t change His love for me one bit.

Psalm 139: 7-10:  “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.  If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, Even there Your hand shall lead me”

I am not good at relationships.  Too often in my family people handled conflicts with others by putting them out of their lives.  I’ve done the same thing over and over in my life.  Ending a relationship was easier than changing my behavior or an attitude, easier than admitting I’m wrong or putting forth extra effort to show love when I wasn’t feeling it.  We tend to manage our relationship with God the same way we handle our relationships with people and I realized that’s what I was doing.  I was constantly struggling to make sure I held up my end of the relationship but I had no idea how to do that.  I feared I would mess up or quit trying out of frustration.  God is literally a part of me, He dwells in me, and walking away from this relationship is not an option!    

Hosea 14:4 – “…I will love them freely.”

I knew God’s grace is free; it’s not possible to pay my debt so, in my mind, God came up with a plan to save us but that didn’t mean He necessarily had to love us (clear as mud, huh?).  Somehow I separated His grace from His love.  Love in this world is work and we are taught explicitly and implicitly that we must earn it.  It’s hard to change our thinking about that because that’s the only kind of love we have ever experienced.  But we have to get past that and truly accept that His love is different, it really is free.  God is not waiting for me to do certain things to “earn” it.

Funny, but my granddaughter just happened to be spending the night with me the night of my prayer and was asleep in the bed next to me (God’s timing is impeccable!).  As I looked at her I thought about how much I love her and how much my love for her surprises me sometimes – the depth of it, the tenderness of it; there is nothing she does that makes my love for her grow stronger each day, yet it does.  There is nothing she can do that would diminish my love for her; nothing she can do that would make me not want to be around her; I would do anything to protect her.  Even when she does things that I don’t like, my love for her isn’t diminished at all.  God showed me in that moment that while I can compare His love to what I feel for my granddaughter, His is greater.  It finally sunk in and I wept. 

Psalm 103:11 “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;”

 I walked an aisle and accepted Jesus’s gift of salvation when I was about 11 years old.  But I gave in to worldly pressures and lived my life apart from God for the next 10 or 11 years.  I returned to Him after my daughter was born but again yielded to the temptations of the world after about 6 years.  I lived the following 24 years much like Solomon, running after every desire I had:  money, men, material possessions, worldly “wisdom.”  Granted, I did not have near the resources Solomon did to satisfy his desires, but I acquired what I could with the little I had by any (legal!) means I could manage.  In 2009 the burden of my sinful life became too much to bear and I begged God to take over.  Over the past four years I’ve come to know Him.  As I looked back at the 39 years since I first accepted what Jesus did for me on that cross, I saw all that He had done for me even as I lived in total disobedience.  It was God who had taken care of me.  He had never allowed anything in my life that I couldn’t handle.  He had, in fact, kept every promise He makes to us in His Word.  The night of my prayer I saw how He has cared for me, how patient He has been.  I have done so many things that no doubt grieve Him mightily and in spite of it all, He took me back.  

Isaiah 41:13: “For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”

As I lay there that night I realized I am the prodigal Jesus talks about in His parable in the 15th chapter of Luke:

Luke 15:17-24 – “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.  I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’  So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.  “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.  Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate.  For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.”

It is nothing short of amazing that God welcomed me back with open arms.  He doesn’t hold anything back.  He doesn’t treat those of us who go astray any differently from those who have been obedient to Him. Now, get this:  each time one of His wayward children come back, there is great rejoicing in heaven.  He rejoiced when I came back! 

Luke 15:10 – “…I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

That night I finally gave control of my heart to God.  Knowing the truth about God’s love fills me with a desperate desire to please Him in everything I do.  It’s no longer a struggle of my will.  As I deal with the situation I prayed about that night, I have a new peace and love towards the people involved.  Since that night, I see others through God’s eyes – the ones that watched as I did things that broke His heart.  Through it all, He watched with unwavering love for me, knowing I would return.  I must pass His love on and I now have the power and the understanding to do it.  I can do no less. 

Jeremiah 31:3 – “The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying: “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.”

BREAK MY HEART FOR WHAT BREAKS YOURS

31 Saturday Aug 2013

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God’s desire is that all people will come to know Him.  In 1 Timothy 2 Paul reminds Timothy that we are to pray and be thankful for ALL people.  There is no exception list.  (Admit it, we all kinda wish God had included a list of those we don’t have to love!)

 1 Timothy 2:1-4: “I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for ALL people – for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.  This is good and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved, and to come to a knowledge of the truth.” 

 Ezekiel 33:11:  “…’As I live, says the Lord God, ‘I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live….”

 Jesus prayed for those who crucified Him.  He asked God to forgive them: “for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)  I often gloss over this part of the Gospel.  After all, it was Jesus, He’s God.  He’s in the business of forgiving.  When I stop and consider the emotions He might have experienced during His arrest and crucifixion, in addition to the physical pain, and that He did it voluntarily, I realize how badly He wants us to be saved from eternal separation from Him.  Picture your child in a championship ballgame.  He’s on the Away Team so all but a few of the spectators are cheering for the other team.  He makes an awesome play.  Everyone anxiously awaits the umpire’s call.  It’s in his favor.  The crowd begins booing, calling him names, throwing cans, food and garbage at him.  They storm the field and start kicking dirt in his face.  Someone grabs his glove and hurls it across the fence. It seems the entire crowd is attacking him, including people your family ate lunch with less than an hour ago!  Then someone steps forward with their video that confirms the umpire’s decision was correct.  The crowd disperses still cursing, still calling your child names; no apologies, no praise for his play.  He stands there, bruised and battered, blood flowing from his nose, tears streaming down his cheeks, fear in his eyes.  Stop and feel that.  Feel the rage, the fear, the overwhelming urge to strike out at these people, to rub your son’s achievement in their faces. 

I believe the emotions we would experience in this situation are some that Jesus must have been feeling.  His human makeup was what had to be sacrificed to pay our debt so He stayed there and experienced it all in a completely human way. He didn’t conveniently call on some kind of Godly power that would diminish His emotions.  He didn’t choose to get even.  He didn’t call on angels to change His circumstances.  He forgave them.  He didn’t say He forgave them while thinking to Himself, “Yeah, I’ll forgive them, but I hope they pay for what they did.”  No, Jesus truly, sincerely forgave them.  He forgave because He knows the price unbelievers will pay and He doesn’t want anyone to have to pay that price, not even those who were subjecting Him to this injustice and causing Him untold pain.  His heart is broken for ALL those who have not found Him.  Ours should be, too.

 I play this scenario over in my mind as I go through the process of letting go of pain and hurt feelings.  Once the emotions start welling up, I have to find ways to manage them. I start by reminding myself that the person is struggling and remembering the things I have done that hurt others, things I do every day that hurt God.  Then I pray.  The first parts of those prayers are usually filled with the “me” of the whole situation, how badly I’ve been treated or how I hope others are punished, much like David’s prayers against those who relentlessly pursued him. But God loves our honest prayers, so that’s OK as long as I don’t stay there.  As I pray, I slowly yield to the Spirit and He redirects my thoughts to the things I need to focus on:  their need for God, the struggles they might be going through, how difficult it is to obey Him in certain things, and on my own sinfulness.  It always takes more than one prayer and it’s rarely a straight path; I waver back and forth from anger and hurt to forgiveness.  But I keep praying when the disobedient attitude takes hold until I can adopt an attitude that allows me to show God’s love even though I still may not be feeling it.  When I start wallowing in the feelings again, I go back to Him in prayer.

 Ezekiel 36:26: “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.”

While I carry a heavy burden for people who are still stumbling around in the world without Jesus, many times the last feeling I can manage is broken heartedness!  I feel frustration at their arrogance and pride and their inability or unwillingness to understand God’s will, anger at how they mock Jesus and ignore what He did for them.  My daughter read somewhere that we expect people still searching for God to act like those of us who have found Him.  When they don’t conform to those expectations, we use it as justification to ignore them or be angry at them.  It’s easy to put our negative feelings ahead of our responsibility to show God’s love.  I find this true in my own life more often than I care to admit.  I remind myself of what I was like before I yielded to Christ.  I know that giving in to my negative feelings isn’t going to do anything to attract anyone to their Savior and that is my responsibility as a committed follower of Christ.  But I am a whole new creature and still learning to yield to the Spirit.

 There’s a woman at work who cannot walk and gets around on a scooter.  For well over a year I focused on the fact that she drives that thing way too fast and didn’t seem to understand there are corners she can’t see around.  I decided she was insensitive and reckless.  She really irritated me and I thought perhaps I should report her or say something to her before she hurt somebody. One day God laid on my heart to just smile and speak to her.  So I did that.  She didn’t respond at first but I kept it up.  Now when we see each other, she smiles, sometimes says hi.  The hallways now seem wider; there aren’t THAT many people in the hallway. At some point I noticed the mirrors at each of the corners so she can see around them.  One day I had to take a different route on my way home and saw her outside our building racing towards the bus stop.  I realized she’s in a hurry because she’s anxious about missing her bus.  Not only did my actions change my feelings towards her, once I discovered why she was in such a hurry my sin in judging her became all too apparent. I might not ever have a chance to share the Gospel with her, but had I reported her or admonished her that door would have been closed.

 Another woman at work would never speak to me unless she was challenging me about my faith, even though she professed to be a Christian.  She is known for stirring stuff up at work and being critical of others.  I avoided her and, I’m ashamed to admit, joined in the negative conversations others would have about her.  Yet there were others who seemed to really like her.  I started listening to her at her desk and found she has a wonderful sense of humor and a great love for her husband.  I committed to overcoming my dislike for her.  I decided to buy some household decorations that she was selling so I would have something to begin talking to her about.  I brought her blackberries and tomatoes from our garden. One day she came to me upset because someone had lied to her.  I listened and tried to encourage her.  I got some insight into why she acts out the way she does. I am more patient with her and can better sympathize with her struggles rather than feeling the disdain for her I previously felt.  I get to enjoy her sense of humor and, best of all she is more receptive to my faith.  I have been able to seize opportunities to share it with her, something I was not able to do before. 

 To say that God’s heart is broken for those who do not turn to Him might be a bit of an understatement.  It’s very serious to Him therefore it should be to us.  I should want to do everything I can to insure people will not spend eternity separated from God.  Not only will I be a stumbling block if I allow my emotions to determine how I am going to act, but I break the sixth commandment, the one that tells us not to murder.  This is an example of how the Ten Commandments go much deeper than what we read at first glance. Here’s how it plays out:  when we allow our dislike for or anger at someone to keep us from showing God’s love and working to lead them to Him we demonstrate that we don’t care about their eternal soul.  In our hearts we have essentially sentenced them to eternal death.  Knowing that those who do not find God will spend eternity being separated from Him should break our hearts just as it breaks His. 

We can’t depend on our feelings about others to determine how we are going to treat them.  Demonstrating God’s love not only has the potential to change others, it will also change the way we feel about them.  It’s not easy but, when we sincerely desire to obey God, we have to put forth the effort.  I want to feel the urgency God feels for those still struggling to find Him.  Until I get there, I will focus on showing His love through my actions; putting aside my feelings when they don’t match God’s command to love them.

1 Corinthians 13:2-7: “ …if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”