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A LITTLE TOO CHRISTIAN

09 Sunday Feb 2014

Posted by carolyncam1 in Uncategorized

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beatitudes, behavior, Bible, blessing, Christian, desires, forgiveness, God, Holy Spirit, Jesus, Peter, Sermon on the Mount, sin

Some years ago I was with my daughter and her in-laws at a local Farmer’s Market.  As we passed through a sizeable crowd my daughter and I got separated.  When she found me she said, “Well, that was pretty sad.  I just heard a woman coming out of that store say, ‘That was a little too Christian.’”   We weren’t sure what had happened but wondered what someone might have done that could be deemed “too Christian.”  Had someone been too honest?  Too nice?  Too accommodating?  Too helpful?  The incident has stayed with me over the years.  Whatever it was, that person did something that was so opposite of what the world expected that it struck a nerve.  It still troubles me that the witness viewed the actions as negative rather than behavior we should aspire to.

Four or five years later I still wonder what transpired in that little market but know it could not have been too weighty.  A crowd didn’t gather, there was no screaming or yelling.  Perhaps someone returned money or excused someone for excessive rudeness.  As small as the incident had to have been, I wonder what this woman’s reaction would be to the mother who forgives the man that murdered her child; the husband who forgives his wife for infidelity; the man who spends his last dime to help someone he barely knows.  Most of us have a mental list of behaviors we deem nice enough or that we are willing to forgive; we also have a list of behaviors we feel are too tolerant, too risky, or that should not be forgiven.  As Christians, we are to follow God’s direction regarding our behavior.  As we work to implement these into our lives, we must remember that our culture will not understand them; most are deemed to be unreasonable and too much to expect from any human being.

Matthew 6:15 “But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

I love the back story about Peter asking Christ how often we are to forgive.  The Jewish practice was three total offers to forgive (Job 33:29; Amos 2:4, 6).  In Peter’s typical impulsive manner, he graciously asserts that perhaps seven times would be more in keeping with Jesus’s teachings.  But Jesus provides an answer I imagine Peter probably felt was unreasonable:  we are to forgive 70 x 7 times.  Jesus was telling Peter that we are to forgive others an infinite number of times.  We are not to keep track – forgive each time we are wronged with no regard to the type of offense and no regard for how many times we have had to forgive any particular person.  This is how our heavenly Father forgives us.  I am very thankful that God is not keeping a tally sheet of the times He has forgiven me – I passed 490 times a long, long time ago!  Nor is He listing my behaviors in columns titled “Not So Bad,” Really Bad,” or “Almost Too Bad to Forgive!”  I have a lot that would fall under this third column.

While I struggle with expressing Godly love, I do not struggle with the idea of forgiveness.  God has forgiven me of some terrible things and I need that forgiveness, so must I forgive others.  I somehow understand that even the most wretched and horrible person was not born that way.  Something in their life happened – perhaps it was bad nurturing, maybe mental illness, natural desires that are difficult to control.  That is not to say I condone sinful behavior – even the smallest sin is reprehensible to God, thus it is repulsive to me – nor do I believe it is necessary to continue interacting with anyone who continues to wreak havoc in our lives.  Forgiveness doesn’t require either of these.  But forgiveness does demand I recognize my own sinfulness and that we all need Jesus. I don’t stop needing Him after I have accepted Him.  When I look at my fellow sinners, I see someone God can save and I must be available for God to use to accomplish that, I must pray for them without regard to what they are doing.  Jesus is the only way to truly and permanently change the human heart.

The Sermon on the Mount provides us with a list of behaviors Jesus expects us to implement into our Christian lives.  They are principles the world finds unreasonable.  But when we can read this sermon without dismissing any and see the benefits we will gain from adopting them, why they are right, we are coming to a fuller understanding of God.  In his lesson “The Sermon on the Mount” (at www.Bible.org) Bob Deffinbaugh writes: “In this day and age, when we in the church seem to be looking more and more like the society around us, there may be no better medicine than the Sermon on the Mount. It describes what human life and human community look like when they come under the gracious rule of God … Different … not the same….  We should note that the beatitudes do not refer to different groups of people as if some are merciful, others are peacemakers, and still others are called upon to endure persecution. Rather, this is a beautifully poetic way of describing the qualities of a kingdom citizen. All these qualities are to characterize each of His people.

Some have taken the beatitudes (and in fact the whole sermon) as a description of what one must do in order to enter the kingdom of God. …This cannot be further from the truth. It is clear from the text that Jesus is describing the qualities and duties of those already in the kingdom. The Sermon on the Mount is not a presentation of the gospel telling one how to get saved. As Dr. S. Lewis Johnson has humorously pointed out, when the Philippian jailer asked the apostle Paul, “what must I do to be saved?” (Acts 16:30), Paul did not reply with, “Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” The Sermon on the Mount is not how to get into the kingdom, but how you are to be because you are in the kingdom.”

Living our lives as directed in the Sermon on the Mount is difficult because it is against human nature– in the world’s eyes, they are all “a little too Christian.”  But Jesus isn’t in the business of offering suggestions.  We are to work towards making them a part of our daily lives, our chosen responses.  And because they are not behaviors that we can adopt naturally, we must rely on the Holy Spirit to help us.  When we exhibit these behaviors our testimony is strengthened and we have the blessings Jesus promises in the second half of each beatitude.  At work I am often challenged because my passionate love for Jesus leads me to respond in unexpected ways.  Some days I handle these situations better than others.  On bad days, I often think that I’m wasting my time.  It seems much more acceptable for people to growl at each other and make rude remarks.  On those days I entertain the thought that since my efforts are viewed as insincere or hypocritical anyway, I might as well give up and act like the people around me.  But God reminds me that my standard of behavior is not other people.  I can’t give in to wanting to be accepted or to criticism.  My standard of behavior is Jesus.  There are no exceptions and no wiggle room.  I cannot justify bad behavior by explaining to God that His requirements aren’t acceptable to the people around me, that they might find them a little “too Christian.”

Matthew 10:34-36 – “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household.”

There are people in society that many have decided we should not waste our time on.  But we are not the ones to decide to give up on anyone.  When God lays someone on our hearts, we must plant seeds until He directs us to stop.  When someone questions why I spend time helping someone that has caused a lot of problems at work, I simply tell them it’s not my prerogative to give up on her. There are people in my family that haven’t spoken to each other in years and some who have created great chaos for my loved ones.  But when God lays them on my heart, I cannot ignore God’s calling to spread His message to them, even when my family doesn’t understand.  The pain my family goes through because of their inability to forgive is tremendous and it saddens me.  But I must continue to be “too Christian” in every environment I am a part of.  I know it is the only thing that will fix broken relationships and it is one way to glorify God.   

Irwin Lutzer asked the question: What does it mean to live passionately for Christ?  His answer: “To live as if Jesus lives.”  Love the people Jesus loves (everyone); love them the way Jesus loves them (unconditionally); serve in the way Jesus served (humbly and daily).  We have to give up the expectation that the world is going to understand why we live the way we live.  Until someone truly turns their life over to Jesus, our behaviors will be viewed as irrational and naïve. 

The next time I wrong someone, whether it is intentional or not, I pray the person I’m dealing with behaves in a way that is “a little too Christian.”  Heck, I’d even take someone who is striving very hard to meet the minimum requirements!  “A little too Christian” would be a real blessing!

ME IS A HARD HABIT TO BREAK

23 Monday Dec 2013

Posted by carolyncam1 in Uncategorized

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Christ, contentment, desires, flesh, God, happiness, Jesus, love, peace, regrets, self-esteem, sin

I know our focus on self is nothing new.  It’s human nature.  As Solomon reminds us in Ecclesiastes “There is nothing new under the sun.”  Since Cain killed Abel, man’s priority has been himself.  The degree of self-absorption in the world is a cycle – it peaks, and then subsides.  Each generation feels more justified in elevating self and the consequences of decisions made during the peak times are disastrous – the value of human life declines , violence increases, God is put on trial, morality becomes relative, selfish desires overtake morality as a basis for personal and political decisions, and individuals emphasize their rights without acknowledging responsibilities.  As self-absorbed as we are today, I often wonder what life will look like for my grandchildren.    

Luke 9:23-24 -“If anyone wants to become my follower, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.”

In my 20’s I told myself that I wasn’t going to waste my life being unhappy.  I read somewhere that if I was unhappy, my spouse and children could not possibly be happy as they would suffer the effects of my misery.  That sounded logical and I bought it hook, line and sinker.  If something in my life wasn’t going the way I thought it should, I changed it or got rid of it.  The few times I did stop to think about how my lifestyle was affecting others, I was convinced I was saving them from having to live with an unhappy me.  The thought that this way of living was me-centered never crossed my mind.  I was afraid of getting old and having regrets.  Living a life centered on me became such a habit that much of the time I wasn’t even aware that’s what I was doing. 

As I struggled with confidence and trying to fit into the world, I bought into the idea that it was a self-esteem issue, my locus of control was out of whack, as I learned in a college class.  The gist of this theory is that in order to enjoy life we must believe that we have the ability to control the events in our lives.  My boss once said to me, “Stop walking into a room wondering what everybody thinks about you.  Walk in and ask yourself what you think about them.”  He was getting closer to the right answer, but still missed the mark.  Even the solutions to my “me problem” left me focusing on myself!    

Despite being assured that putting myself first in life was a sure path to a happy life, at fifty years old I had nothing but regrets.  I was no closer to feeling comfortable in the world than I had been in my 20’s and 30’s.  We justify putting ourselves first in so many ways – we have a “right”, we expect life to be fair, the world tells us to put ourselves first.  We live in a self-centered society that approves of all of this.  We’re told to build our self-esteem, achieve self-actualization or self-realization.  We’re encouraged to find ourselves and never get so involved with others that we “lose our identity.”  It doesn’t work; we only end up getting buried deeper in ourselves. 

Philippians 2:3 – “Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself.”

Then I committed my life to Christ.  I thought my “me problem” was solved.  After all, I was living for Jesus now.  But it crept into my Christian life.  I went to church waiting for people to come to me.  I quit going when I wasn’t getting what I needed.  I waited for people in the church to help me without asking.  I expected my church to provide the things I needed.  I hesitated to make friends because I dwelt on my past life and used it as an excuse to keep people at arm’s length.  My husband didn’t attend church so I felt lonely and sorry for myself.  It was all about me and the problems I was encountering as a new Christian. I wasn’t focusing on Jesus – I was still focused on myself.  I had moments when I was aware of what I was doing and I would tell my daughter “Me is a hard habit to break.”  Finally, it sunk in.  God began making me aware of how many times I thought about my Christian walk in terms of “me, my, I.” 

Romans 7:15 – “For I don’t understand what I am doing. For I do not do what I want – instead, I do what I hate.”

I began to look for the part of God’s truth that would put me on the right path once and for all.  Each time I thought I had found it, I failed again and each time found it harder to forgive myself for not being able to master this problem.  I began to think that my “me habit” was unconquerable.

Then I ran across Steven Cole’s Bible Study “Following Self or Jesus” at Bible.Org (Lesson #43).  He assures us that “dying to self is a daily task.”  I found comfort in that.  It gave me a different battle plan.  Rather than looking for one single answer that would rid me of the problem, I had to begin to look at it as a daily battle with the potential that each day’s struggle may demand a different answer.  But the answer will always be found in God’s truth.  When my emotions or desires tell me to act in a way that’s opposite of God’s commands, I must choose God’s way.  And I can only do that by being silent and remembering God’s Words.  In order to do that, I must be familiar with them.  Reading my Bible every day is the key.  Praying for strength and wisdom is the other tool I use.  While Steven Cole reminds us it’s a daily struggle, I suggest it is a struggle in each situation we deal with.

Read Steven Cole’s words on the role of self-esteem in Christian life (Following Self or Jesus? Lesson #43):   Thirty years ago, the teaching that Christians should love themselves and have proper self-esteem was virtually unheard of in evangelical circles.   …, for many years I taught that we need “proper” self-esteem. But then I came to see that the entire teaching is opposed to and condemned by Scripture. And I have grown increasingly concerned that because of the pervasiveness of this false teaching, there are many who think that they’re following Jesus, when actually they are only following self. They have been taught that the Christian faith and even Christian ministry are the avenues toward self-fulfillment. They’ve been told that Jesus will help you learn to love yourself, when in fact Jesus taught nothing of the kind. 

Taking up your cross is not something you accomplish in an emotional moment of spiritual ecstasy or dedication. You never arrive on a spiritual mountaintop where you can sigh with relief, “I’m finally there! No more death to self!” Nor are there any shortcuts or quick fixes to this painful process. The need for dying to self is never finished in this life; it must be a daily thing.  …When selfish thoughts (“I have my rights! I don’t have to take this!”) crowd your mind, you nail them to the cross by praying, “Lord Jesus, You gave up all Your rights, took on the form of a servant and became obedient to death on the cross for me. Help me to display that same attitude right now” (Phil. 2:5-8).

If, like me a few years ago, you have been taken in by the self-esteem teaching, I encourage you to re-evaluate it in light of all Scripture, especially, Luke 9:23. You won’t find a single verse telling you to build your self-esteem or to love yourself more.

Love Christ, put Him first.  Listen to what you’re saying to yourself in each situation.  When you hear any reference to yourself, consciously make yourself focus on Jesus.  It’s an ongoing struggle because our sin nature still resides in us, but you can build the habit of re-focusing on Jesus and doing things His way.  You’ll find your value only in Him.  He counted you worthy to die on the cross for. 

Romans 5:7, 8 – “ (For rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person perhaps someone might possibly dare to die.)But God demonstrates his own love for us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

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